My little world is blessed with two sons-in-law. John was the first, married to my firstborn, Julie, 11 years ago. He is a man all men should be. I knew it in 2005; I believe it even more today.
Emily (above) married Zach in 2013 to complete our family dynamics until Lillie came along last summer. The past year has not only taught me about the joys of grandparenting but reinforced the answered prayers of a mother-in-law.
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A man's home is his castle. A man's home is not meant for a mother-in-law to live in.
However, during the first two weeks of Lillie Jane's life, my second son-in-law opened up his castle and gladly welcomed me. The three of us rotated shifts, changed diapers, walked the floor as we teamworked our way through the typical concerns of first-time parents, first-time grandparent.
Privy to this young couple's partnership those first few days at home, I sometimes stepped back just to observe them navigate. Zach woke up for Lillie's feedings just to reassure and calm Emily and Lillie during breastfeeding. Lillie's little 8-pound body was often cradled in her dad's arms, rocked to sleep on his chest. He proactively fathered, not shying away from calls to doctors or nurses with questions and took off work to accompany his girls for doctors' visits. Zach slept very little and worried a lot those first few days, even weeks, as the reality of fatherhood set in.
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Lillie is, of course, a magnet for this first-time grandmother, so I show up often just to get my fix. Throughout these past 11 months, Zach has not once made me feel unwelcome on the many visits I have made to their home. He and I have waded our way through the boundaries that are in place, and today we respect and know how best to proceed. We may even be approaching the "relief" sigh when I show up--it's good to feel wanted.
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In the years to come, I believe with all my heart that Lillie has a father who will listen to her, who will challenge her, who will teach her to be compassionate and understanding....a father who will discipline and then make sure she understands why. Zach will nurture her faith--whatever faith she chooses--because he recognizes that is the best way for Lillie to grow. She will have a Dad who is a constant presence, one who makes her a priority.
Best of all, Lillie has a father who loves his wife and is devoted to her. Zach honors Emily; Zach cherishes Emily. Daily, he tries to live the vows he made to her three years ago.
In other words, Lillie's father loves Lillie's mother.
I think that makes me a mother-in-love.
